Marik Ishtar
|other names = Malik Blishtar|catchphrase = "Steve"|relatives = Hank Ishtar(Father) Ishizu Ishtar(Sister) Odion Ishtar(Adoptive Brother) Melvin(Evil Half)}} Marik Sebastian Ishtar III is a character within the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged universe. He is based on the canon Marik Ishtar. Faithful to his dub counterpart, he is a sadistic and childish villain who wants to conquer the world, but is portrayed as much more innocent and naive than his anime counterpart. His favorite hobby in his free time is to attempt to take over the world and playing with his Steve Squad. In "Dork Side Of The Moon", he accidentally says what he is secretly planning out loud in front of Joey and Tea. In "So Long & Thanks For All The Trading Cards", he was holding the Millennium Rod behind his back. In "Marik's Evil Council of Doom", Marik is the only villain willing to follow the show's plot line and defeat Yugi with a children's card game. Whenever Marik says fuck, instead of bleeping it out, the sound bite "EFF!" from Perfect Hair Forever censors it instead. Marik believes there are no female characters in Yu-Gi-Oh and only girly looking men (he believes himself to be the girliest), and appears to have a relationship with Bakura. Though despite many gay references to himself he once offered to strip for the fangirls on one occasion. All of the members of his council think he's gay. Though he denies it, it is heavily implied that he is gay and that he may have "feelings" for Bakura. In the Zorc and Pals episode, Marik claims to be Zorc's wife. He introduces himself to Yami in "Who's That Mokémon?", where he claims that he is in charge of the most feared anime organization known to man, the Rare Hunters (though Yami believes that honor goes to the Samurai Pizza Cats). In the episode, he claims that his goal is to steal Yami's screen time and to destroy him "a little", though Yami originally believed that Marik was out to kill him and steal his Millennium Puzzle. Marik's Millennium Rod, like in the original series, has the power to control whoever he wants, like forcing them to break dance against their will, though in the second "Marik's Evil Council of Doom", it is revealed it only works on people with the name Steve. So far, he controlled Bandit Keith (Whose middle name is Steve), the Rare Hunter who stole Joey's Red-Eyes Black Dragon (revealed to be named Steve), Arkana (whose full name is revealed to be Steve Arkana), Strings (Who is known as "Steve the Mime", "the most evil Steve in all of Stevedom", according to Marik), and Joey and Téa, who he tricked into legally changing their names to "Steve". He also claims to have "an army of celebrity Steves" at his disposal, including "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Steve Jobs, Steve Guttenberg and Steve Buscemi. His latest mind slave was Steve The Mime, someone Marik called pretty "f-ed up" for having piercings and tattoos. He lost when Yugi was able to take advantage of a glaring flaw in the Duel Monsters rulebook and Yugi took Slifer the Executive Producer and, as Marik promised, the Rare Hunters would take his friends as he rode into the city on a motorbike (something that not even the band Boston would help look cool according to LittleKuriboh). Later, on he met Bakura, who claimed to have found in him to be the gay signal he was feeling lately (although he reckons he "probably would have deduced that without the use of his gaydar"). Marik replies that he likes women but Bakura does not believe him and ironically pointed out that he dresses like one, adding that Marik looks as masculine as a Square Enix character (famous for making very effeminate male characters), mocking him by asking to call him "Basch from Dalmasca". After a talk they decided to work together to defeat Yugi and possibly kill him (since Marik himself said his plan was evil but not well thought out) and also share beauty tips. In the following episode he tries to trick Joey and Téa like in the original series by helping Bakura and pretending to be a nice guy, but he fails. First he can't think of a fake name and out of random thinking he says Malik (a reference to an alternate romanization of his name) instead of Namu like in the official anime. After that he accidentally says his evil plans out loud. When Joey points it out, he decides to take them by force with the Steves. Later on the pier, where Joey is trapped he is tricked into signing a contract in exchange for his freedom, but the contract was a legal paper that changed his name from Joey Wheeler to "Steve" Wheeler so that Marik will be able to control him. In "Card Games At 20,000 Feet", he contemplates a fake name of "Malik Blishtar", and is annoyed when Odion (who everyone believes to be Marik) insults himself, thus insulting Marik. When Joey claimed Marik (really Odion) was an asshole, Marik said "He might just be misunderstood." Odion then said "No, I'm definitely an asshole", to which Marik replied "Not helping, Odion!" He also continues to yell his evil plans out loud, and tells Joey that he will kill him last (Joey takes this as a joke). In "Final Deathstination" he wants people to ignore him, specifically by screaming "Ignore me!" At the end of "So Long & Thanks For All The Trading Cards" he is seen leaning over a table with his hands over his ears whilst the music to "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" is playing in the background, saying "Great, now I can't get that EFF!ing song out of my head! Thanks Odion. Thanks a bunch! At the end of "She Blinded Me With Card Games", he mentions ordering "Pornographic comic books". It shows a crudely drawn Marik holding a book with the word "Porno" on it. He says, "This pornography is really quite good..." and then is attacked by Dr. Octogonapus (from the Lazer Collection created by Dom Fera, which was referenced previously in the episode). In "Chenquieh!", it was revealed that he has an ice-cube fetish. In "So Long & Thanks For All The Trading Cards" it is revealed that he was seemingly evil right after being born, promptly shouting out "Excewwent!" and laughing evilly. He grew up to hate live-action Disney movies which he'd been forced to watch as part of the Tomb Keepers' initiation ritual. Following the ritual he begins to exhibit insanity, for instance when Odion asks how he feels, he retorts "I've been tortured by my own father. I'm forced to live the rest of my life underground and I was forced to watch the worst Jamie-Lee Curtis movie since "Christmas with the Kranks". How the EFF do you think I feel Binky-Boy?!" He seemingly inherited the penchant to calling people Binky-Boy after his father who once called Odion that (although stating in concrete giraffes that he "would never say- (binky boy)". In the 2008 Christmas special, he held another meeting of his Evil Council but only Yami Bakura shows up. The pharaoh sent them a Christmas present, which turned out to be a time bomb. In a movie rant about "X-Men Origins:Wolverine", he claims he's "fairly good at playing hopscotch", saying how one person's power is to use Kung-Fu and that he's a mutant. During the third-year anniversary of Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, he's constantly trying to make up drinking games in accordance to people's catch phrases. The first involved taking a drink whenever Zombie Boy said "Brains" but true to his last appearance, he's stopped saying his catch phrase and insists on talking like a normal person. The second idea was taking a drink whenever Bandit Keith said "In America" but truthful to his undeniable Canadian heritage, he'd also stopped using his catch phrase. The third idea was taking a drink whenever he and Yami Bakura saw a crude stereotype, particularly Shadi and the Kaiba Corp. Nazis, but it turns out they were not invited to the party due to being too offensive. After discovering that the only remaining stereotype around, Bakura in this case, was taken to the hospital due to a near-fatal glomp injury, Marik begins ranting about how the world has conspired against him to ruin his ability to enjoy alcoholic beverages. Lastly when Naruto (from LittleKuriboh's take on Naruto Abridged) shows them a present sent to them by TeamFourStar, which was in fact a bomb, Marik gets the idea to take a drink every time everyone explodes and dies, but is abruptly cut off with the bomb exploding, killing him and everyone else at the party. He also seems to be a large Lady GaGa fan, knowing the tune and timing of Bad Romance and also knowing there are no Lady GaGa songs that rhyme with shoes. In LK's "Marik plays Bloodlines" Marik is playing with a Vampire character and acting as if he is very much inside the game itself. Most of the time, though, he rambles and sings about all kinds of subjects that come to him during the games, or makes fun of Bakura, who often grudingly offers comments in the background. It is in this series that Marik is literally spooked into admitting that he's gay in episode 6, a comment he hoped Bakura did not overhear. Bakura's apparent attraction towards Marik become also more pronounced through the episodes: In bloodlines 6, Marik accuses Bakura of staring at him instead of reading, as he claims he's doing. Bakura's flustered response tells this is most likely true. Later on Marik yells at the screen that doors WILL slam very hard, in which Bakura replies that he would like Marik to slam HIM very hard, a comment Marik chooses to ignore. In episode 7 Marik reveals that, apparently, Bakura wanted to take him to a romantic movie (The Notebook) which Bakura denies, telling he just wanted to replace the original film with 'Cannibal Holocaust'...though in his view this, too, is a 'romantic' movie. When Marik was finding similiar examples of best-buddies such as him and Bakura, Bakura offered the Tsubasa Chronicles pairing Kurogane and Fai, which Marik vehemently denies has nothing to do with anything. At the end of episode 7, Marik comments on how he is afraid that Mel Gibson would be watching him sleep, upon which Bakura asks if he's afraid of someone watching him sleeping. Marik confirms, and asks Bakura why he wants to know that, the latter replying: "No reason at all...", heavily implying that that is exactly what he does at night. In "How Kaiba Got His Groove Back", Marik possessed Tèa, calling him self "Tea" (as in the drink). In the Bonds Beyond Time abridged movie, Marik makes a brief appearance on the front stage, claiming to have a plan to take over the world, but is blown up by Yubel through Jaden. Category:Characters Category:Male Characters Category:Humans Category:Antagonists Category:Duelists Category:Tomb Keepers Category:Battle City Participants